“If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.” -Mark Twain

I can’t have a quote of the day page without including wisdom from the great Twain. I love that when looking for quotes on cats almost everyone who’s anyone has had something to say about cats: Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Nietzsche, Deng Xiao Ping, Marilyn Monroe, Freud, Ernest Hemingway, etc. Cats have amused, comforted, and snubbed people for thousands of years. No wonder the Egyptians had the cat goddess, Bastet!Cats are so entertaining. My cat is sitting on the porch right now, hissing and growling and guarding the house. There’s a stray orange tabby cat that’s been visiting and my cat, aka king of the house and land, is NOT happy about it. There’s no going near him when he’s in such a tizzy. How dare another cat enter his sacred domain?!

Who would hold a cat by the tail? A baby, definitely a baby would. I’ve witnessed it. Most cats tend to be tolerant of babies. Cats are so intelligent that they recognize that a baby is an even more inferior human so they are not surpised by a baby’s foolish actions. They know how enticing that beautiful silky soft furry tail is. No wonder they are so expressive with it, flicking it side to side when irritated, like an impatient girlfriend tapping her foot waiting for her boyfriend. The tail goes flat on the ground when it’s about to pounce. They rub it up against your leg when they want food. Or straight up in the air, with a flirtatious flit to the side, as it disdainfully walks away.

“You’ve got to have something to eat and a little love in your life before you can hold still for any damn body’s sermon on how to behave.” -Billie Holiday

Happy Birthday Lady Day! An amazing woman with a stunning distinctive voice, she died tragically at the age of 44 in 1959. Billie Holiday had a rough life. She started singing in a brothel in her early teens. Eventually she started singing in clubs getting more and more well known. She was the first black woman to ever sing with a white orchestra.

In May ’47 she was arrested for drugs. She wrote: “It was called ‘The United States of America versus Billie Holiday’. And that’s just the way it felt.” Released on March 16, 1948, she performed in Carnegie Hall to a sold-out crowd just 11 days later. What a woman!

I still remember the first time I heard her music as a sophomore in college. My roommate said you gotta listen to this. Billie Holiday? What a funny name. Why does she have a boy’s name? But I listened (it was either do that or work on that paper about “Macbeth”) and I was blown away. Wow. Such a sensual voice that caressed your heart, you could hear the sadness and longing in her voice, yet determination to savor life with generosity and passion.

Back to the quote — food and love are the essentials of life before one can even consider behaving well. Without food one is frantic, has no energy, can’t think clearly. Without love, of any sort, one has no purpose in life. Why bother listening to a sermon and trying to be a better person when you think no one cares about you?

“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.” -Einstein

I love this quote. I love that it’s Einstein who says it. Einstein! The man whose name is synonymous with brilliant genius and a crazy hairdo. It makes me wonder what Einstein was like as a lover, a wooer of women. Was he shy or flirtatious? Passive or assertive? What sort of women did he go for? Shy wall flowers? Stunningly beautiful model-material babes? Self-assured yet nerdy female scientists? Proper and traditional women who wanted to be housewives and mothers?

Now let’s consider the physics of the issue at hand. Driving safely while kissing. That’s the equivalent of texting while driving, without the physical thrill. It’s just not a good idea. Pull over if you want to kiss! Granted there were less cars on the road when he said this gem of a quote, but you want to keep that pretty girl safe, don’t you? What about kissing a bland girl? Does that change the essence of the quote? Or is it assuming that all girls who are kissed are pretty? Or does kissing a girl always make her pretty?

Now what about giving a kiss the “attention it deserves”? No dead fish kisses here, worse than a limp handshake. Kisses should never be mediocre. The stars should move with a kiss, the knees go weak, time should freeze. Speaking about weak knees and frozen time, yet another reason to not drive while kissing!